A day in the life of a three year old boy

A day in the life of a three year old boy… from the perspective of his mum, our resident writer, Sam Hornby

When it’s sunshine time, it’s time for me to be awake. Need a wee. Every morning, I wonder how much wee I can get all over the toilet seat, but most mornings I miss the toilet completely…my pants get wet so I take my pants off. I sometimes have a bit of extra toilet fun and see how fast I can unroll all the toilet roll, it is FUN!

I then think “Where’s mummy and daddy? I’m going to go find them…”

At the weekend, daddy is home from work. When I go into their room, they are often still in bed and still asleep! I try and creep into their bed, without them noticing. Mummy and daddy pretend to be still asleep but I know they are awake and only pretending, well, mummy is, daddy can sleep through everything! I love mummy, I give her a kiss every morning but if I can’t reach her mouth, I pull her head round to me using her nose! I love daddy too. Daddy still pretends to be asleep, but I know how to wake him up. I wake him up by bouncing on his belly… Wake up daddy!

When I want my breakfast, I try to push daddy out of bed so he can get it for me but first I pull the duvet off him…hehehe…It takes me a long time but eventually I manage to wrestle daddy out of bed to go downstairs to get my breakfast and put Spongebob Squarepants on the television for me (I know how to do this myself but I like daddy to do it for me instead).

Need a wee. Mummy must wipe all my “accidental” dribbles away because every time I go back into the bathroom, all my hard work has gone! I have to start all over again! And the toilet roll is all rolled up again!

Mummy and daddy keep asking if we can watch something other than Spongebob. They ask me every day, I think they are fed up of hearing “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?” They even try to turn it off when I’m in another room playing with my cars, but I know what they are doing! Need a wee.
Mummy often interrupts me when I am playing my games with my friends, Disappeary and Bumblebee. She makes me sit at the table to eat dinner, but I’ve more important things to do. I like to see how much I can get away with leaving before I’m allowed sweeties, but I normally have to eat all of it, boooooo. Need a wee. I also like to see how long mummy will wait for me to eat my dinner before she feeds it to me, like I said, I’ve more important things to do!

After lunch, I go back to playing with my toys. Sometimes I stop because I have to listen to my brain when it tells me to go to have a poo. I tell mummy I need a poo and she comes upstairs with me. I ask her to get my Meg and Mog books for me to read on the toilet like daddy. Once I have finished, I get into position. I put my hands on the floor and my bum in the air. Mummy then makes everything clean. I try to do it myself but mummy says I just spread it everywhere.

I sometimes like to do some drawings at the table. Mummy puts my drawings up on the fridge and when it gets full she puts them on the doors. Need a wee. I also like to do playdough. I like making ice-cream and pies. I use my little table and stool and make a restaurant and invite mummy to come to eat at my restaurant, if I’ve been messy with the playdough, I have to clean it up first, then we play restaurants. Mummy never eats the playdough, she says we have to pretend. I quite like the taste actually but mummy says we are not allowed to eat it.

Need a wee. When it’s time for tea, mummy lets me watch some television while it cooks. I don’t know why mummy makes my tea warm, I like eating it when it’s cold, I could just eat it straight out of the freezer instead. My favourite is scampi and letters, I want to eat it every day but mummy won’t let me. Need a wee.

After tea, I have a little bit of time to play or watch my programmes on the television. I secretly hope mummy forgets it’s my bedtime, but she doesn’t. I do try to convince her that it’s not bedtime because the sun is still shining but it never seems to work. I go upstairs and mummy brings my milk. I have a wee, brush my teeth and get my jammies on. I try to have a play at the same time but mummy always makes me get in bed to have my milk and then reads me a story. I always want her to read my favourite and she always says she wants to read a different one, but we always end up reading my favourite anyway. I sit up in bed, mummy closes my curtains and we have our story. I really like it when mummy pauses so I can fill in the blanks and she asks me questions like what I think will happen next… I think she forgets we have read it a million times!
Time for sleep, I am actually quite tired…mummy says night night to me and tucks me in and gives me a kiss. She turns off my light and goes downstairs. I like to shout to her and play the “I love you more than…” game.

I sometimes have a car…to play…with in bed…I…like…to…play…zzzzzzzzzzzz…

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